Ciaran Henderson   |   Communications

This morning I wound my way down Middle Temple Lane (an unobtrusive passageway off Fleet Street), to meet Suzanne Lowe, the founder of Talk Mediation. I had met a couple of mediators who work with her at the CMC Conference, and arranged to meet up with Suzanne when she passed through London.

Talk Mediation runs an assistants panel, which I may join. Although I won’t get paid work, it will give me the opportunity to travel around the country assisting mediators, as they operate in many different locations.

I learned a great deal about how the National Mediation helpline functions, including panel registration for different areas and upcoming challenges facing the administration of the helpline.

This week Mark took up the challenge of making 3D source images for a 2×3m display screen. Creating the image with help from our 3D guru, Billy was fairly simple, but rendering it to a size which would be printable at the desired dimensions and resolution was near impossible.

We were up till past midnight every night, with Mark trying out different configurations, edging ever nearer to a final large image. Looking in the forums was not much help, as everyone who’d attempted a similar render ended up creating segments and painstakingly putting them together in Photoshop.

Eventually we made a breakthrough.

With Mark working late at the studio, I crashed at home then woke up early and re-googled his puzzle. At last I found an answer about use of RAM at render-time, and how to overcome the Windows RAM restrictions by initiating the /3GB switch at start-up.

Coincidentally, Mark had done the exact same thing the night before and was ready to test the new setup.

Hooray! It worked!!

But more than that, it was the first time that we’ve successfully worked together to figure out such a complex problem and come out with an unexpected miracle… Living & working together can be a tough struggle, but when we get a triumph like this it all starts to feel worthwhile.

I met our newest neighbour today, when we had an impromptu BBQ downstairs with Dan & Gaby.

Imogen Katie Linda Ezro is almost 3 weeks old.

Today all the volunteer mediators at Camden Mediation Service were invited for a day of top-up training. Community mediation can be very unpredictable, especially as emotions tend to run very high when the disputers may have their home or sanity at stake.

We started with general chat & an ice-breaker, for once meeting on our own terms with fellow mediators… An quirky bunch of like-minded do-gooders! Unbeknown to any of us however, Adriana had dreamed up a day of those rare but unavoidable “critical moments” which turn a mediation into a potentially dangerous or legally implicated confrontation.

We soon found ourselves diving headlong into racisim, homophobia, angry insulting language, and threats of physical violence. All of these may be directed from or between the clients, and still need to be dealt with using the non-directional framework of seeking out opportunities for empowerment and recognition. This involves confronting an issue as soon as it arises, “calling” the words or behaviour of the person responsible for what is going on, and offering them the chance to deal with the issue in an empowering and constructive way. At the same time, it may mean protecting one party from the behaviour of the other whilst maintaining impartiality and a non-judgemental, non-directive approach.

Choosing language to fit into the framework is always tricky, even when the client is cooperating… But with Adriana playing her wicked characterisations of impossible clients, it really becomes a balancing feat of mental gymnastics to tread through the minefield. The skill comes from finding a way to offer the clients a new direction in the conversation, purely based on what they are or aren’t actually saying about their needs in the moment. It can feel like juggling a dozen invisible balls at once!!

I’m not sure I did that well, struggling to deal with a joint mediation roleplay in which one was insulting the other where the situation was crying out for ground-rules. All my attempts were too timid or subtle, so we really only seemed to inflame and enhance the divide between the clients even further.

Watching other mediators dealing with their role plays, was incredibly enlightening though. Especially Jane, who effortlessly disarmed a pair of racist & insulting clients by asking them perfect questions about what type of conversation they would like to have. Certainly a great example to learn from and so much further to go in my own practice.

The Civil Mediation Council (CMC) held their Annual Conference yesterday at the Birmingham Motorcycle Museum. After catching a 6.30am train from Euston, I arrived in good time to mingle with a large sample of the country’s civil mediators. There were about 250 people from all over UK, some working for high stakes and some for community mediation projects.

The day was split up between conference speakers – prominent figures from the world of mediation – and networking breaks for refreshments. The main themes were how to promote the use of mediation, relevant to all since a survey of delegates showed the average number of mediations performed by each is 5 per year; international perspectives; and whether to promote or regulate recognised standards for the profession.

Initially we heard from the CMC President, Lord Slynn, and Chairman, Sir Henry Brook, who introduced the day’s topics; and Judith Kelbie (one of the tutors on my accreditation course) about the activities of the CMC.

During the morning an impressive array of speakers included Ministry of Justice, Judge Stephen Oliver-Jones, and professionals from both sides of insurance and litigation. It was heartening to hear from individuals who were promoting the use and relevance of mediation from within the legal system, but impossible to miss how unusual they all were among their colleagues. Listening to one after the other tell a similar tale of needing to get the word out, I bagn to fear that mediation has hit an invisible ceiling with a long wait before it is integrated into the general practice of litigation, judiciary and the public at large… What we all want to hear people saying is “Lets settle this in mediation..” instead of “I’ll see you in court”!!

Finally, just before lunch, came an unexpected lift. Stephen Ruttle QC talked in broad concepts about the realms of mediation, its scientific yet intuitive nature, the need for inclusion into social policy for housing estates, schools and communities damaged by antisocial behaviour; and he finished up urging everyone to contribute by demonstrating how powerful community mediation can be and thereby force the government and legal institutions to take note. Stephen’s speech was a turningpoint in the day because he brought us all back to the reason so many of us had become mediators.